This week, my usual posts are suspended as I take part in the Your Turn Challenge. As a part of this challenge, those of us who participate are committing to a daily post for seven days, starting today January 19th to January 25. You can read the posts of other participants here. Why am I taking part? Because – I want to get unstuck.
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There is a huge difference in attitude when I think of them my in-laws as my husband’s parents and as in-laws.
The minute I think in-laws, my brain it seems, is flooded with the stereo types , the stories and the culture of the relations between mother-in-laws and father-in-laws and daughter-in-laws, the stories and dramas between them. And the crazy part, the absolutely insane part is this: these thoughts are nothing to do with the people they are – or the person I am. It is just the mythology and the beliefs concerning that relationship, and how the stereotypes, however much you ignore them, pollute your perspective.
On the other hand, when I think of them as my husband’s parents, the shift in my thinking is profound. They become more human. And the individual behaviors are just that – just individual behaviors and nothing else. The actions are that of another human being, of another person who has seen more of life than I have. And the actions of someone with a different culture and a set of values.
When looking at them as my husband’s parents, the relationship is not so very personal but infinitely more human, more caring and more accepting.
It’s quite amazing to me, how the framework, the lens I use to look at people matters so much to my mind and thoughts. Look through the right lens and so much humanity and kindness can come through.
I wonder how the mythologies and my perspectives are affecting me in matters of gender, of race, of orientation and other hot button topics.
January 20, 2015